GOLDEN MAN
by Kathleen Sawtelle

Like many, I’ve wondered how my life could be so strangely altered by a 24 year old moppet with an astounding voice and an impish charm.  I’m a woman with grown sons, a licensed counselor, and someone who usually has a realistic take on life.  Long ago I gave up anything remotely related to being a fan.  But then, along comes Clay Aiken, and I’m taken on a journey through the feelings and memories of the past, things that had been put away like pictures in a scrapbook.  Once again I’m feeling like a teenager, screaming at concerts, wearing glowsticks that are actually car flares, and 
protecting the pants Clay signed as if they’re a canvas by Renoir!

My feelings seem to come out of nowhere- one picture of Clay dancing on his knees with a special needs woman made me burst into tears. From beneath the surface bubbled memories from my college years when I attended weekly social hour dances with Down's Syndrome men and wore 6-8 thin satin ribbons in my 
long hair because when I danced with them, they wanted a ribbon to remember the moment. In all my life, no dance was ever so precious!

And through Clay, I remembered how much I’d always wanted to make the world a better place.   The remembering has motivated me to take action- I'm becoming a rape-crisis counselor. Since I specialize in women's therapy, this is a way to give some of myself to my community. I also decided to be the S Carolina organizer for Clay's CD Release Party because I want to spread his ideals and causes, as well as expose others to his glorious voice.

The "Summer of Clay" was fun, but it left me with a nagging question: what is this really all about?  I've spent time in personal reflection and prayer trying to understand the connection I feel with Clay, one also felt by hundreds of thousands of  others. Because we have essentially made Clay an icon, a hero, the  substance of the relationship makes most sense to me from a  transpersonal perspective, from a level where we’re all interconnected 
through the mystical kinship we share with one another. When we're dealing with such deep and intense emotions and experiences, these can be difficult to convey.

I’ve become increasing aware of the projective/Jungian aspects of Clay's rise to iconic stature.  We do indeed feel that we've helped mold Clay into our hero and that he offers hope to our world. We know he’s just human but that’s part of what we love most about him.  And because he’s vulnerable and trusting, he shares his humanity so innocently with us.  Clay’s a mixture of delightful boy, tender lover (referring to sensuality not sexual experience here), and compassionate wise man that we so want to see in mankind.

For women and men, Clay represents the hero who serves humanity, a concept lacking in today's technological world, a world were service-oriented professions are underpaid and under-respected while CEO's rake in millions. He is a hero who lives in our shadows, the place within the unconscious 
where both the light and dark natures of the self lay hidden, treasures of understanding waiting to be found.  Clay is a reminder there are heroic elements (however great or small) dwelling within us.   His voice and spirit are keys that flip open the doors and dare us to take a candle into our own shadows to discover their treasures.

For women, he is the projected masculine (in Jungian terms, the "animus"), the male partner to our own feminine, and for whom we long (even deeply yearn ) to help advance our human society to a place where men and women are working toward a common purpose of building spiritual and social communities that provide the love, nurturing, and support needed to eradicate the overwhelming despair we feel in today's world. He is the smiling, laughing 
boy filled with idealism and hope; he is the romantic lover who flirts 
outrageously with us, reaches into our hearts and souls with his songs and personality, and treats women like goddesses (thank you, Faye and Clay's grandmothers!); and he is the man wise beyond his years who believes in life with a purpose and who is willing to make the difficult choices necessary to make a difference.

For men, Clay is also projected shadow- he represents the unclaimed qualities of the balanced feminine in men. He is sensitive, kind, compassionate, and desires life with spiritual purpose and meaning. He adores children and is moved to the core of his being by those with special needs. He equally adores the elderly and respects the life lessons they teach. Clay is masculine without being macho, sexy without being lewd, gentle without being weak- a real man who doesn't need women to be second-class in order to feel important. Clay represents the hope I felt in my idealistic youth and now see bearing fruit in this younger generation.

Clay is the Golden Man- a mystical angel, yet fire-hot sex symbol hero, whose pink lips form prayers to keep his life on the right path and also promise kisses we can only dream of. And those beautiful eyes- they can look deeply at the world and see its need for transformation and sacrifice and still twinkle with a sly satisfaction when females scream and moan over the simple tug of a shirt. Yes, he does know and he's soaking it all in!

I hope Clay continues having so much fun because being a hero is satisfying, yet very hard work. He'll have dragons to slay that he never expected to encounter and he'll face trials as we all do, but his will often be more challenging. He'll continue to need our prayers and our love. We've made Clay our hero and we owe him the support that will sustain him.

Thank you, Creator of all life, for gifting Clay with a stunning voice and a heroic nature and for giving him to Faye knowing she would love and nurture him into who he has become today. And a special thanks to our Golden Man, Clay, for being willing to take the journey.

We are all the better for having him in our lives.

Kathleen Sawtelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in private practice in Columbia, SC.

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