GOLDEN MAN
by Kathleen Sawtelle
Like many, I’ve wondered how my life
could be so strangely altered by a 24 year old moppet with an astounding
voice and an impish charm. I’m a woman with grown sons, a licensed
counselor, and someone who usually has a realistic take on life.
Long ago I gave up anything remotely related to being a fan. But
then, along comes Clay Aiken, and I’m taken on a journey through the feelings
and memories of the past, things that had been put away like pictures in
a scrapbook. Once again I’m feeling like a teenager, screaming at
concerts, wearing glowsticks that are actually car flares, and
protecting the pants Clay signed
as if they’re a canvas by Renoir!
My feelings seem to come out of nowhere-
one picture of Clay dancing on his knees with a special needs woman made
me burst into tears. From beneath the surface bubbled memories from my
college years when I attended weekly social hour dances with Down's Syndrome
men and wore 6-8 thin satin ribbons in my
long hair because when I danced
with them, they wanted a ribbon to remember the moment. In all my life,
no dance was ever so precious!
And through Clay, I remembered how
much I’d always wanted to make the world a better place. The
remembering has motivated me to take action- I'm becoming a rape-crisis
counselor. Since I specialize in women's therapy, this is a way to give
some of myself to my community. I also decided to be the S Carolina organizer
for Clay's CD Release Party because I want to spread his ideals and causes,
as well as expose others to his glorious voice.
The "Summer of Clay" was fun, but
it left me with a nagging question: what is this really all about?
I've spent time in personal reflection and prayer trying to understand
the connection I feel with Clay, one also felt by hundreds of thousands
of others. Because we have essentially made Clay an icon, a hero,
the substance of the relationship makes most sense to me from a
transpersonal perspective, from a level where we’re all interconnected
through the mystical kinship we
share with one another. When we're dealing with such deep and intense emotions
and experiences, these can be difficult to convey.
I’ve become increasing aware of the
projective/Jungian aspects of Clay's rise to iconic stature. We do
indeed feel that we've helped mold Clay into our hero and that he offers
hope to our world. We know he’s just human but that’s part of what we love
most about him. And because he’s vulnerable and trusting, he shares
his humanity so innocently with us. Clay’s a mixture of delightful
boy, tender lover (referring to sensuality not sexual experience here),
and compassionate wise man that we so want to see in mankind.
For women and men, Clay represents
the hero who serves humanity, a concept lacking in today's technological
world, a world were service-oriented professions are underpaid and under-respected
while CEO's rake in millions. He is a hero who lives in our shadows, the
place within the unconscious
where both the light and dark natures
of the self lay hidden, treasures of understanding waiting to be found.
Clay is a reminder there are heroic elements (however great or small) dwelling
within us. His voice and spirit are keys that flip open the
doors and dare us to take a candle into our own shadows to discover their
treasures.
For women, he is the projected masculine
(in Jungian terms, the "animus"), the male partner to our own feminine,
and for whom we long (even deeply yearn ) to help advance our human society
to a place where men and women are working toward a common purpose of building
spiritual and social communities that provide the love, nurturing, and
support needed to eradicate the overwhelming despair we feel in today's
world. He is the smiling, laughing
boy filled with idealism and hope;
he is the romantic lover who flirts
outrageously with us, reaches into
our hearts and souls with his songs and personality, and treats women like
goddesses (thank you, Faye and Clay's grandmothers!); and he is the man
wise beyond his years who believes in life with a purpose and who is willing
to make the difficult choices necessary to make a difference.
For men, Clay is also projected shadow-
he represents the unclaimed qualities of the balanced feminine in men.
He is sensitive, kind, compassionate, and desires life with spiritual purpose
and meaning. He adores children and is moved to the core of his being by
those with special needs. He equally adores the elderly and respects the
life lessons they teach. Clay is masculine without being macho, sexy without
being lewd, gentle without being weak- a real man who doesn't need women
to be second-class in order to feel important. Clay represents the hope
I felt in my idealistic youth and now see bearing fruit in this younger
generation.
Clay is the Golden Man- a mystical
angel, yet fire-hot sex symbol hero, whose pink lips form prayers to keep
his life on the right path and also promise kisses we can only dream of.
And those beautiful eyes- they can look deeply at the world and see its
need for transformation and sacrifice and still twinkle with a sly satisfaction
when females scream and moan over the simple tug of a shirt. Yes, he does
know and he's soaking it all in!
I hope Clay continues having so much
fun because being a hero is satisfying, yet very hard work. He'll have
dragons to slay that he never expected to encounter and he'll face trials
as we all do, but his will often be more challenging. He'll continue to
need our prayers and our love. We've made Clay our hero and we owe him
the support that will sustain him.
Thank you, Creator of all life, for
gifting Clay with a stunning voice and a heroic nature and for giving him
to Faye knowing she would love and nurture him into who he has become today.
And a special thanks to our Golden Man, Clay, for being willing to take
the journey.
We are all the better for having
him in our lives.
Kathleen Sawtelle is a Licensed Professional
Counselor and Supervisor in private practice in Columbia, SC.
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